HypeOrlando -- Bastion of Talent, Know-How and Liberal-Fascism! The Blog They Didn't Want You To Read!

Hello peepo!  O.k. – I’ll get right to it -- this is what went down.  

A little background to get you caught up:  

After seeing that the top blog of the weekend was called: "10 Things Women Think About During Oral" -- (which included the blogger wondering if she smelled - down there.) I decided to do a series of blogs exploring the HypeOrlando blogs themselves. (How "meta!") Mostly to evaluate, to praise and to familiarize myself with my peers. I had no intention of spewing negativity, or any desire or need to be disparaging. I did feel that I eventually needed to voice my disapproval of something as blatantly vulgar as a "vagina sniffing blog." But I didn't dive right in to to her’s. (For obvious reasons.) Instead, pacing/steeling myself, I started with...

Well, why not just show you? Here it is in its original unedited form. 99.98%  of the HypeOrlando community did not see this blog but an edited version without what I presume was the offending paragraph below the image (now rendered in blue for your convenience) and without that plastic apology at the end. 

HypeOrlando, Let’s Be Friends...  Or Not!

What better way to alienate myself (when what I truly need is to become far more socially integrated) than to write an opinionated blog about my fellow HypeOrlando Bloggers! Fun!

First-off, let me say how impressed I am by the quality and effort put into many of these blogs. HypeOrlando is filled with talented, knowledgeable and fun people whose voices deserve to be heard. (Then there's me.) Orlando, whether it knows it or not, is quite fortunate to have a platform like HypeOrlando to corral such an eclectic group of significant (and giving) artists/guides.

I guess blogging is a calling. It certainly requires a serious degree of dedication, discipline and focus, in order to produce an informative and/or entertaining blog with consistency . (Then there's me.)

Now allow me to analyze some of these blogs from my uniquely misanthropic perspective; while I attempt to keep in mind that I claimed tickets for the pre-FLBlogCon mixer. (Hope there are metal detectors.)

I'm going to begin with "GenerationGeek - Orlando". First-off -- feel better brother! (And we are brothers!) Unfortunately, I do not believe you will. My travels during the second week of July included stops at the various printing presses of twelve  major comic-book publishers. (I spared Dark Horse and Top Cow as dictated by my vegan leanings.) Disguised as an exterminator, I slyly (and giddily) suffused the ink with a deadly neurotoxin. (Synthetic CSTX; hidden in plain sight within my back-pack sprayer.) Sorry man. The "Reign of Nerds" is rapidly approaching its end!  Muah-hah-hah-hah!

I'm done keeping silent while corporate America continues to prey upon a particular vulnerable segment of society by appealing to their desire to belong/fit-in. Think about it -- are you really and truly proud to be called Geeks and Nerds? Aren't these terms, inherently, derogatory? Or are you being grouped (corralled) in order to be more conveniently pandered to and, in turn, capitalized upon?

Oh, I get it! You must be attempting to diffuse the negative connotations of these labels, by proudly embracing them. Like African Americans calling each other "Nigga" in the mid 80's. (What, they still do?)  Or the Native Americans having their bi-annual "Red Fests." (What, they don't?) Well then what about the Latino Community's "Carribean Spictacular" in Kissimmee (No such thing?!) 

That's not it? You've just accepted these epithets as badges of honor? Well, in that case, your fate is even worse than the neurotoxin rapidly dissolving your dendrites... you have been brainwashed by marketers! Quick! Run and pick up this week’s Superman/Wonder Woman and rub it all over your  (pimply) arms and faces. An "honorable death is preferable!  Just remember: "Today is a good day to die!"  (Read it with surgical gloves first, it's pretty bad-ass! It's the first annual. A Tony DanielWonder Woman is a "wonder" to behold; one of the best superhero illustrations around; 

Oops sorry, lapsed into Geek-speak…  (Then again, it’s all "geek" to me! Ha!)

                                 

                                            Really? I mean... really!? I wanted to go... until this.

Let's ask the enchanting (and obviously obsessed) Ms. Wannabe Victoria Beckham [her blogger handle] if she would let any of these guys go-down on her? (Hey girl, that's right, I got you in my sights! ('s comin' Vicky…. savin' the best for last.) But, since I'm visiting now, allow me to say 3 things regarding your latest post: 1) If you are capable of having ten thoughts during -- the dude (or chick) is woefully unskilled. 2) Great GIF use! Very impressive selection! (Certainly more impressive than the content.) 
3) Regarding the DNA-based, dating service that's sponsoring you: don't be surprised when that DNA analysis comes back saying you'll need a time-machine... as I'm pretty sure your match is living in the Pleistocene Era.  Bam!.

Personally, I'm not a Nerd, Geek or a Fan-Boy -- I'm a socially-challenged, pseudo-intellectual, pop-culture guru, with hyper-appreciative tendencies. Y 'all can continue being Nerds and Geeks if it makes you feel – uh, communal...

Back to you Justin: seriously, thank you for a lot of great local, comic-related info. Your blogs are succinct, informative and well structured. And really, I hope you feel better soon.

Next-up, Tiny Taster!  (Full disclosure: major crush!)   A brilliant, quite beautiful, paralegal-foodie?! Delicious! (Her recipes too!)  All, meticulously transcribed (and formatted,) with awesome pics; Her "Herbs 101" totally rocked!  Health and nutrition advice, cooking tips, A sweet, gentle, yet, simultaneously fierce spirit. Ka-thump, Ka-thump, Ka-thump! (That's my heart) She's a genuwine (n' dine)  treasure!

Dang! Bloggers are a sensitive bunch. If anyone was/is or decides to eventually become insulted by any of my opinions, turns of phrase, or jests.  I [semi] sincerely apologize -- my sarcasm can be "biting" but is more often just lame.

  ______________________________________________________________________________

Not long after posting, I received this email:

6:51
Hi Paul,

I'm pretty sure your latest post isn't the best way to get off on the right foot with your fellow hypeorlando bloggers. We try to be a positive, supportive community and you've come right out the gate hurling insults at the people who are there to help you.

Just thought you should know that it's not going over well.

KIM HAYS

hypeorlando community manager

My Reply:

7:15
Hey Kim,

Your concern/advice is appreciated -- but "hurling insults?" Isn't that a gross exaggeration? I actually didn't intend to insult anybody. (Though I find your estimation of my dopey opinions carrying enough weight to insult anyone, quite edifying.) There certainly wasn't the slightest mean-spirited intent inherent to any of the comments. That, I can state categorically. (I am wholly incapable of "mean" ) The person on the receiving end of my “good natured jibes” can either choose to laugh it off or choose to be insulted (Hey, that’s the "bully credo!") I could not have been more complimentary of the community at large. Did you even read it? If you are referring to Ms. Wannabe Beckam,  (bet you are, ) I called Ms. Alicea "enchanting." and meant it!  She's also bold, beautiful and semi-intelligent!  I also complimented her on a great use of GIFs! Yes, I did say she was "obviously obsessed" that is hardly "hurling insults" I'm "obviously obsessed" with my Schnauzer; I wouldn't be insulted if someone wrote that. Blogging on Fleshlight tablet- cases and what she thinks of during oral! I believe her blogs' contents exculpate me of being hyperbolic or insincere. If that was insulting to her I will be happy to remove it and apologize. (Now that was insincere.) The veiled (Neandert(h)al) comment, as well worded as it was, ("time machine/Pleistocene" -- then there's the DNA subtext) is the only possible aspect of that blog that you could possibly be referring to as "hurling insults." (The (semi-) veiled nature of which would kind'a contradict the purported "hurling." ) Do you think I should take that out? 
I would think she'd be totally down with that juxtaposition, wielding as primal and crudely fashioned a bludgeon as writing on the "freshness" of her pudenda during oral. I maintain that comment is highly insulting to"preparedly-fresh" women everywhere.

What I believe you are telling me, is that we need to be a supportive community. That although we are a community built on the freedom of ideas, views expression and opinions... we should be more guarded as to how we express these opinions in regard to one another. Freedom -- with limitations. Limitations of perceived "good taste." Ahem.

Just let me know what you'd like me to do --- you're the boss!

7:37

Hi, I'm taking the post down. I think this is the best decision until I can discuss this with my colleagues.

KIM HAYS, hypeorlando community manager

I wrote and sent this to her before I noticed/read her previous email.  

  

7:41

Hey Kim,

I think I fixed it. Although, I may have not have even touched whatever it was you were actually referring to ... I do believe it is now a "hurling" free-zone. Except, perhaps, from the opposite direction. And you know what? That would be fine. I am self-confident enough to endure an infinite amount of criticism; justified or not. (Referring to my confidence, not the criticism; I'm certain that would be justified.)

Paul

It was then that I noticed/read her email about taking down the post.

7:43

To Hays, Kim

I wrote that before I saw your last email. That's fine -- but I don't think there's really any reason to [pull it] anymore. This is actually pretty exciting! I can't believe my words are being censored and banned! Banner day!

[When she didn't respond, I took the question to the community in order to elicit some feedback and generate some discussion on censorship. I included the excised and (possibly) offending paragraph into this blog:]

_______________________________________________________________________________

Here it is! The blog that ultimately got me banned from Hype Orlando!

Censorship at HypeOrlando! Justified? You Decide!

I was a little put off by Ms. Wannabe Victoria Beckam’s latest blog. I mean it’s not just vulgar but borders on the obscene.  I’m sure plenty of people appreciate that. Heck, Cosmo might even link to it on their site. (I hope so, for her sake!)  Since my latest series of blogs are commentaries on other Hype Orlando Bloggers content and techniques and Ms. Alicea was on my mind (she is quite attractive and semi-talented.)  I wrote a paragraph which contained my opinion of not particularly appreciating the content of her last blog. (Made me a little queasy actually; I mean, really! Excuse yourself, use a dampened washcloth, maybe a little JeanNate, before you need to start worrying about it.) Could just be it brought back a rather traumatic memory  for me. It may (or may not) be what The HypeOrlando Community Manager Kim Hays was referring to in her emails. But as she never clarified what was meant by "hurling insults." I feel safe publishing this here in this new context: Of course that doesn't mean I am safe. But would any, self-respecting, American "community manager" really censor a blog exploring the causes for censorship?

The following paragraph originally appeared just below the Orlando Weekly Nerd Fest Pic.

[Here, I placed the (possibly) offensive paragraph. Followed by our ensuing email exchange; both, located above.]

I was hopeful that people could be a little more open minded (the irony!) Obviously, open-mindedness has

limits that good-taste does not. 

More later as the story develops. What do you think? Was the censorship justified?

One of my enduring challenges, is an abiding mindset that absolutely no one is going to see anything I write. I don't compose with the trepidation of possibly insulting someone and neither do I filter to satisfy the dictates of of some perceived or imposed "decorum." I'm just me and I'm always righteous. (According to standards far more concretely founded than some piddly community blogsite's.)  

________________________________________________________________________________

On Sat. morning 8/10 I received this:  

Paul,

Your blog has been removed from hypeorlando for violating our TOS.

 Do not provide User Content that:

[Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah – I repeat and respond to the TOS “violations” below. They’re enumerated.]

This ends your relationship with hypeorlando.

My Reply:

Hey Kim -- 

While this existential affirmation is greatly appreciated, this falls squarely on you.  This entire episode might have been avoided if you could have taken two minutes to explain to me what the original offensive content was -- even though I had very plainly requested clarification after being told I was "hurling insults." (Which I certainly wasn't! Hurling compliments would have been more accurate. I may have lobbed one pretty weak insult… which was, debatably, more jest than insult.) Your failure to elaborate on the subject was utterly confounding to me, resulting in my, appealing to the community for guidance and clarification.  

Furthermore I challenge you or anyone else on staff to find one single example of something I wrote that: 

1)   Contains vulgar, profane, abusive, racist or hateful language or expressions, epithets or slurs, text, photographs or illustrations in poor taste, inflammatory attacks of a personal, racial or religious nature.

It actually saddens me to bring this up yet again – but vulgar -- is talking about your vagina’s smell while receiving oral sex – I was merely attempting to illustrate this with a (literal, in this case) display of “perverse-irony” Thereby underscoring how the reading (or writing) of such things might be perceived as “shocking” or “in poor taste.” to people of a more refined temperament. I was not for a moment being vulgar for the sake of vulgarity. (Which seems to be perfectly acceptable on your planet.)

The only epithet(s) I used was (again) illustrative of those being adopted by the groups these very epithets were used against, with the goal of diffusing their antagonistic nature. 

I, myself, am a proud Latino -- who grew up in Flatbush, Brooklyn -- entirely devoid of racial bigotry, in fact, quite adverse to it.   

2) Is defamatory, threatening, disparaging, grossly inflammatory, false, misleading, fraudulent, inaccurate, unfair, contains gross exaggeration or unsubstantiated claims, violates the privacy rights of any third party, is unreasonably harmful or offensive to any individual or community.

This one, I didn't even come close to infringing. Well… saying her choice of GIFs is more impressive than the content – is only marginally disparaging – if at all. (Especially since I said the GIFs were “great” ) Saying “you can’t write” is disparaging. (Which, I neither wrote, nor believe.) Maybe it’s a privacy violation? You didn't want anyone to know you were the community manager? Can't blame you;  with decisions like this!  

3) “Flames” any individual or entity (e.g., sends repeated messages related to another user and/or makes derogatory or offensive comments about another individual), or repeats prior posting of the same message under multiple threads or subjects.

I’m going to extend you and “your colleagues” the benefit of the doubt and believe someone there was smart enough to figure out that my “vulgarity” was only representative. Which means my “violation” has to be somewhere here in #3. Was it really the time-machine comment? Really? Again, an over the shoulder lob – so gentle, so easy... even a caveman could hit that! About as “hurtful!” as a wiffle-ball!

Therefore, I must ultimately, conclude… “What-evah!”  Pretty close-minded, not allowing this community to foster understanding, and instead obfuscating opinions and vicariously dictating terms, at will. 

Quasi-respectfully, Paul R. Martinez  

 P.S. Isn’t it “Enflames?!”