"Watch T.V." "Sleep" "Obey Authority" "Marry and Reproduce"

          With a (knowing and cautious) nod towards my second blog -- I shall now discuss how I  (drum-roll, please...) "Watch T.V."
           T.V. can be a huge time/soul suck -- talk to anyone with any significant societal accomplishments and they usually say -- I don't watch T.V.  It also extends to the debate over the "nature" of entertainment in general. (Yes, way-to vague.) To elaborate a little: let's take what I consider to be the three primary types of entertainment. The cerebral, the escapist and the exploitative --elements of these three are blended and "twisted" (similarly as  the colors red, blue and green are blended)  to create the entire emotional and visual palette utilized to tell the stories that inspire, shock, tickle, distract and sedate us. Emotional-replicators (just like in Star Trek  human experience broken down to their component elements (motion, e-motion and thought.) Unlike in Star Trek where "computer" turns these waste-derived elements into any imaginable tool, machine-part or food --  the final construct of the visual entertainment medium represents the life-blood of many, many  talented individuals (artists and artisans) who utilize (thereby diminishing )  their very life-energies  in the creation of a  product where all but a ("chosen") few have control over how successful the end-result will actually be. Even with a well conceived and executed work -- a breakdown in marketing and promotion can result in an artistically successful  project languishing in obscurity and "failing" commercially.  Hey that's "art!" (Go cry to Poe or Van Gogh.) There really isn't any viable intersection between true artistry  and commercialism. -- though truly there is no crime in iterweaving delight within the various inspirations.
          Just now watching episode 3 of "The Following" with Kevin Bacon. Meh. It's not a bad show,  it's "puffed-up-average." (Annie Parrise sure isn't average.) All the individual elements are "fine." The acting is fine, production value is fine, writing is fine. (As far as the naturalness of dialogue and how it contributes to the narrative flow; it's where it flows, or fails to, that dismays me.) They seem to be telling a movie in, drawn-out, serialized form. The premise: what if a half-assed  (no, quarter-assed) Hannibal Lecter type, managed to gain internet access in prison? Answer:   (Aside from accessing sundry masturbatory aides...) He would brainwash and manipulate an unknown quantity of strategically, stationed "followers" to initiate  an elaborate revenge scenario on his behalf. [Brief aside: I can't mention "Hannibal the Cannibal" without mentioning how I think Thomas Harris is, easily, one of my favorite writers. He just publishes so darn infrequently! (5 books in 38 years!) Part of me thinks: "good for him" but the selfish part is all: "get over your perfectionist and/or lazy self!" Also, there's supposed to be a Hannibal series coming to T.V.,  that could be cool. Just don't shy away from Hannibal's true nature -- which is of a pure and supernatural evil. If you read the books you know what I mean. If you didn't:, I'll spill it: he's so evil his eyes, at-times, glow red.)  Back to "The Following:" There's very little escalation of suspense -- murders are just shock-value affairs,with little shock. So far this episode: a burning, a stabbing (nope, 2 stabbings) Oh, there's a car door bludgeoning (she's just unconscious, but it'll be permanent soon-enough.) The FBI are swarming in full- force but these rank-amateur "followers" are getting the drop on them like they're cold-war, KGB Ninjas something. Ha! Now the only guy they managed to capture committed suicide by gauze! Nah, I think I'm done with this one. (Speaking of cold-war, KGB ninjas, the first 20 minutes of  "The Americans" was better than anything I've seen in three episodes of The Following. Hmmm could be potential in this one! And Keri Russell, is awesome. UPDATE: Yes The Americans is a good show. Suspenseful, very well written/acted, a little dopey (not automatically a bad thing) some great action sequences -- I love reliving the 80's (who would'a thought!) and the fact that it's an FX show means they can "go places" Network T.V. wouldn't touch. Reccommended.
          The reason I brought this topic up today is that I can't watch certain shows with Crystal, (my ex-wife) (ex-ex-ex,,,) (Ooh, an echo!)  (The Following being one of these -- though no longer an issue.)
          She dislikes anything supernaturally or terrestrially  "dark." If it shows even the slightest glimmer of  "dark" -- she's out. (Mad oxymoron yo!) The only way she's able to digest the monsters and demons is if they're candy-coated  like in: Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel. (The "candy-coating" in these cases being  an element of "silly" or overtones of comedy and romance. (See also: True Blood; also one of our faves.) However, don't dare mix a monster with any element of suspense. (Even though I think that this is where all the technique and skill shines through; utilizing that most primal of emotions:  fear, smartly, with finesse and originality. (Not cheaply, with gross-out gore fests (I dig those too, in context, not for mere shock-value) or a cat-jumping out of a cupboard.)
          So demons (and other assorted monsters) and (kick-ass) violence is o.k. (She says, Vampires and Zombies are not real so their not scary ) I say : Vampires are certainly supposed to be scary -- they're soulless blood sucking demons who've hijacked human bodies. Not the mopey, pretty-boy, girl-magnets they've become in recent tropes.) As for Zombies, no, they aren't evil, they're just hungry. (And contagious!)
           I've known true horror! May I tell you, dear reader, what is truly, truly  horrific? The modern-hell that is reality television! For the past decade I have graciously endured all of her mind-obliterating, soul-disintegrating reality shows. Biggest Loser, Project Runway, (are there seriously no straight male designers?)  American Idol (and all the other singing competitions. Fuck-you Simon Cowell ! )  Hells Kitchen, Next Top Model -- Storage Wars... (Really?!?)  Lord, I'm a freakin' saint!
          Overall though, we showed darn-good compatibility with T.V. shows -- we both love Once Upon A Time (Jane Espenson, a T.V. goddess (of awesome) is a contributing writer and producer -- she's been involved to varying degrees with about ten of my favorite shows!)  Crystal and I currently enjoy Arrow, Person of Interest, Elementary and The Neighbors, Glee, Being Human, Nikita, Touch (our apocalypse themed shows: Falling Sky, Revolution, and The Walking Dead,)  Hawaii Five-O, older shows like, 24, Lost, Smallville,   Battlestar Galactica, Jehrico and the aforementioned Buffy, Angel and True Blood (I also indulge her "The Vampire Diaries" (I'm, personally,  out on that one -- mainly because  as I mentioned, I abhor seeing the vicious-vampire "prettified." During the show I will read a comic or web-surf while stealing glances at the ultimately-magnificent Nina Dobrev.) There are some reality shows I do enjoy like The Next Iron Chef (genius-chefs, cool!) and, uh...uh...  hmmm, I can't think of another one.
         She won't watch any of "my" shows like Supernatural (don't know why it fits her monster criteria perfectly) or Breaking Bad (too dark!) , Dexter (well, obviously, out) And God forbid she's even in the house while I'm watching American Horror Story... Sherlock (too cerebral, too British.)  Sheesh .. these last four are in my top- ten of all time. (Dr. Who squeaks by as a jointly watched show but I don't think she truly appreciates/"gets"  British quirkiness -- who really can! The silliness is the point.)
          Paradoxically, I think she's actually quite a dark person herself. I offer as evidence: this divorce. (Although if she wasn't happy "for a long time"  it is kind of heroically courageous of her to extricate herself from our -- sacramental entanglements with one another! (Grrrrr...) Also, here's something weird: I often viewed it as an omen that our relationship was ultimately doomed. At first, it confused me, then it started bothering/angering me (while still confusing me), then I just (grudgingly) accepted it. (Accepted being confounded and angered by it.) But no matter what we're watching, no matter how hard I am laughing, or excitedly, exclaiming/fidgeting... Crystal just sits there emotionless. She never laughs with me. It is as if she doesn't want to give me the satisfaction of enjoying the show with me. I have had a very difficult time understanding this behavior. However if I leave the room momentarily, to let the dog in, fix a snack, or get water) then and only then, she will exclaim and laugh out-loud. WTF?! I've discussed this with my therapist who just went: "Hmmm." I asked him why he thought she does this, to which he replied: "Why do you think he does this?" (Damn! Therapists can be so frustrating; no answers, only more questions.I guess that's "the process." Great help, really. )
         My next wife (next...next...next...) (Oh! I know why I'm getting that echo... The Black Keys: "My next girl -- will be nothing like my ex-girl!" ) anyway, she will love and appreciate the artistic temperament in all it's glorious forms (especially in music and myself. ) even if it gets "dark" or is otherwise intellectually and emotionally "challenging"  She will love Jack White, Sam Raimi the Cohen Brothers and Woody Allen! She will also enjoy being scared (and cuddling.) She will laugh and shout with me joyously/excitedly; sharing her emotions with me graciously and gratefully.
          A man can dream...or watch T.V.